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Post by terryjuliefan on Aug 13, 2021 9:40:01 GMT
EPISODE SIX
SCENE ONE: THE WAREHOUSE
(KATERINA played by Ada Nicodemou wakes up in the middle of the night.)
KATERINA: What the hell was that all about? What a weird dream that was. Cody and Melissa from Erinsborough High got swallowed up by a sinkhole, along with Stassy Sumich’s old man. What on earth? It’s time to get rid of the International Roast.
(KATERINA grabs the International Roast from the cupboard, walks into the bathroom and empties it all down the toilet. The next morning ANITA walks into the kitchen.)
ANITA: Who got rid of the International Roast? Well, you’ve fucked the whole toilet. Now we have to bring in a plumber. As if Agatha wasn’t enough!
(ANITA walks out of the room growling.)
KATERINA: Oh poor diddums.
*
SCENE TWO: THE CLASSROOM
(They’re all walking into the CLASSROOM.)
MELANIE: Great, another day of this BS. If she starts on me, I’m telling you.
DRAZIC: You will sit there and carry on like a little wuss.
MELANIE: OH SHUT UP BOGDAN.
DRAZIC: Don’t call me Bogdan.
MELANIE: OH I’M SORRY? HOW ABOUT I CALL YOU DRAZIC PARK?!
DRAZIC: Dementor! Dementor!
MELANIE: What?!
DRAZIC: Made you look!
(TRUNCHBULL walks in.)
TRUNCHBULL: Open your books to page 401. Any answering back and I’ll throw you straight in the dumpster.
CHARLIE: Oh my God.
KATERINA: Shut up.
CHARLIE: What?
TRUNCHBULL: She said shut up.
*
SCENE THREE: TRUNCHBULL’S HOUSE
(Later that night at Trunchbull’s house, TRUNCHBULL is getting stuck into her chocolates when suddenly there is a knock at the front door.)
TRUNCHBULL: Who could that be at this time of night? If it’s one of them kids, I really will murder them with the chainsaw.
(TRUNCHBULL opens the door. DANIELLE ATRON is standing there.)
DANIELLE ATRON: Agatha Trunchbull, Danielle Atron.
TRUNCHBULL: Who are you?
DANIELLE ATRON: I just told you my name. You threw my nephew out the window when you were working as a substitute teacher at Paradise Valley.
TRUNCHBULL: Hey?
(DANIELLE just pulls out a gun and shoots TRUNCHBULL dead.)
(CREDITS)
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Post by Scheppers on Aug 13, 2021 9:44:01 GMT
Fuck off Trenchbull! LOL Drazic park HAHAHAHAHAH Dementors! oh hi Atron YES! She killed Trenchbull!
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Post by hartleyhighfan92 on Aug 13, 2021 9:44:55 GMT
So, Melissa and Cody's death was a dream after all. Hi, Danielle Atron. BYE, Trunchbull!
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Post by terryjuliefan on Aug 17, 2021 9:39:33 GMT
EPISODE SEVEN
SCENE ONE: BROOKE’S HOUSE
(BROOKE LOGAN played by Katherine Kelly Lang is drinking herbal tea when suddenly STEPHANIE FORRESTER played by Susan Flannery kicks the door open.)
BROOKE LOGAN: Stephanie! What on earth are you doing? You nearly scared me half to death!
STEPHANIE FORRESTER: I’ll scare you three quarters in a minute if you don’t back off, you slut!
BROOKE: I beg your pardon???
STEPHANIE: Listen up, Brooke! I warned you to stay away from Ridge and Taylor and if I catch you hovering around the fringes of their marriage again, I will send you packing myself.
BROOKE: Oh you’re like an old broken record, Stephanie. I can tell you what’s going to come out of your mouth yet.
STEPHANIE: Oh you think you do?! Let me tell you what I can do to your life, Brooke, and if you’ve heard it before, by all means stop me. You stay away from Ridge and Taylor or I swear. I’ll cut you into little pieces.
BROOKE: Oh just get out, you old dragon. You’re not sending me to Forrester Paris and you’re not going to stand there either carrying on like Sheila Carter. Cut me to little pieces indeed. Don’t you realize how insane that sounds?!
STEPHANIE: Compare me to that witch, will you. We’ll see about that now, won’t we?
(STEPHANIE just grabs everything on the table and throws it onto the floor.)
BROOKE: What the hell do you think you are doing?! YOU CRAZY OLD LOON!!!!
STEPHANIE: IT’S JUST FURNITURE, BROOKE. NOT LIKE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO THE RESPECT THAT THE FORRESTER MEN HAVE COMMANDED FOR GENERATIONS!!!! YOU TRASHY LITTLE WHORE!!!! WHY DON’T YOU RACK OFF SOMEWHERE IN THE VALLEY AND WORK THE SAME STREET CORNER AS YOUR SISTER??? THAT FLOOZY, TRYING TO SEDUCE MY HUSBAND ERIC!!!! YOU’RE ALL THE SAME!!!!
(STEPHANIE just lifts up the TELEVISION and hurls it across the room where it shatters everywhere. STEPHANIE then picks up one of the VASES and sends it hurtling into the glass TABLE. Both of them shatter spectacularly. We see this last bit in slow motion.)
BROOKE: GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!!
STEPHANIE: The house Ridge built for you, thanks to your wiggling philandering ways!
BROOKE: YOU’RE NOT SPEAKING TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, YOU OLD CRANK!!!! OUT, OUT, OUT!!!!
STEPHANIE: YOU SLEPT YOUR WAY INTO MY FAMILY, RATTLING THOSE HIPS OF YOURS AND SMACKING THOSE PURDY LITTLE LIPS. ADJUSTING YOUR ROUGE, FIXING YOUR MASCARA IN THAT LITTLE MIRROR YOU PICKED UP FROM THE LOCAL DUMP!!!
BROOKE: OUT!!!!!!! FUCKING OLD COW!!!! PISS OFF!!!!
STEPHANIE: You stay away from Ridge, you brazen little hussy! You Jezebel!
(STEPHANIE just storms out.)
*
SCENE TWO: THE ROBINSON HOUSEHOLD
(HELEN DANIELS is sitting watching “Neighbours”.)
HELEN DANIELS: Oh what?! They’ve brought back Glen Donnelly and he’s not in a wheelchair anymore. But I thought he was a paraplegic. This is an insult.
LUCY: Granny Helen, what’s the matter? What’s all this fuss about?
HELEN: Granny Helen is busy, darling. I have had it up to here with this flaming show. I thought this mob was supposed to be good. Well, first they retcon Paul and Kim, which was just pointless, and then they ruin Sky and Melanie and Amy, and now this. I tell you. I am not going to take it.
(HELEN grabs her keys and drives out of Ramsay Street.)
LUCY: Dad, Granny Helen is upset.
JIM ROBINSON: Oh dear. She’s been watching her TV shows again.
LUCY: What are we going to do?
JIM: We just have to let her blow off some steam. It’s a school night, Lucy. You’d better do your homework. And then it’s off to bed.
LUCY: Ugh. That’s no fun.
JIM: Lucy, if you don’t finish your education you are going to struggle getting a job. And incidentally you shouldn’t disobey your father.
LUCY: OK. OK. OK.
*
SCENE THREE: THE STUDIOS
(HELEN pulls up outside the Neighbours Studios. She furiously begins doing wheelies and skids up and down the street. There are tire marks all over the place. HELEN drives away, laughing.)
*
SCENE FOUR: HARTLEY HIGH
(LES BAILEY walks into the class.)
LES BAILEY: Class, I’m afraid we have some rather alarming news.
DRAZIC: What? The Trunchbull resigned? That’ll be the day.
LES BAILEY: Actually, Bogdan Drazic, she has been murdered.
MELANIE: Murdered?!!
*
SCENE FIVE: THE SCHEPPERS
(Later that night, ANITA walks in.)
HILARY SCHEPPERS: Anita, do you have any idea what time it is? It’s a school night for heaven’s sake.
ANITA: Oh look, Mum, I don’t want to hear it. Can you just drop it and go back to your sewing or something? You’re carrying on like… like… fingernails to a chalkboard.
(HILARY just slaps ANITA right across the face.)
(CREDITS)
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Post by hartleyhighfan92 on Aug 17, 2021 9:47:41 GMT
Loved the argument with Brooke and Stephanie. Glad Helen went off lol! Now Hartley High knows about the Trunchbull. DIDDUMS, Anita!
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Post by Scheppers on Aug 17, 2021 11:02:44 GMT
loved the argument with Steph and Brooke! hi Helen Oh Trenchbull has been murdered! *AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO READ IT TOO IF IT WASN'T FOR SPOILERS!!!!!!!*
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Post by terryjuliefan on Aug 24, 2021 8:11:58 GMT
EPISODE EIGHT
SCENE ONE: HARTLEY HIGH
(LES BAILEY walks into the class.)
LES BAILEY: Yes, all right, settle down, class. There’s no need for all that jazz. Would you turn it down?
KATERINA: It’s not jazz. It’s “Waterfalls” by TLC.
LES BAILEY: I don’t care what it is, Katerina. Put it away. OK, eyes to the front. Yes, we have recently lost our teacher Agatha Trunchbull, but I will now introduce you to Mr. Barty Thompson who will be taking your class. I will hear of no reckless behaviour, especially now in your final year. It is more important than ever that you focus. I don’t want one person failing their exams. Is that clear, Melanie Black?
MELANIE BLACK: I beg your pardon?
LES: I was just kidding. You can relax.
(MELANIE rolls her eyes as LES leaves. BARTY THOMPSON played by actor and singer Meat Loaf Aday walks in. DRAZIC starts drawing a picture of Bart Simpson doing a dance. He passes it to BARRY next to him.)
BARTY THOMPSON: Yes, thank you. I’ll keep that over here where it will be safe. It’s not a very good resemblance, is it?
RYAN SCHEPPERS: Hey, sir, you look like that singer Meat Loaf. Should we call you Bart out of Hell?
BARTY: Yes, yes, very amusing…
(He suddenly explodes, screaming from the top of his lungs.)
NOW EYES TO THE FUCKING FRONT!!!!!!!!
(BARTY kicks over his chair and grabs the METAL RULER.)
MELANIE: Oh here we go again.
KATERINA: Fuck up, Melanie.
BARTY: One more disruption out of you little bastards, when you heard what Les Miserable just said to you, and you’ll wish you’d never been born. Is that clear?
MELANIE: Oh my God. Can’t we just have a normal teacher for a change?
BARTY: Who spoke?
MELANIE: I said: it’s great that we have a normal teacher for a change, sir.
BARTY: Good, because I would have failed you otherwise.
MELANIE: I suppose that’s an improvement on being chucked out the window by our last teacher.
BARTY: That’s not such a bad idea. But luckily for you, I don’t believe in corporal punishment in my class. No, I will just scare you half to death if YOU DON’T PAY ATTENTION!!!! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING CLASS, WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.
DRAZIC: It’s Drazic.
BARTY: Drazic, DRAZIC PARK, PICK YA FUCKING BOOKS UP AND PISS OFF!!!!!
DRAZIC: God, you’re another Nat Delaine.
BARTY: THERE WILL BE NO SPEAKING!!!!! Turn to page 405.
*
SCENE TWO: THE BATHROOM
(BROOKE LOGAN played by Katherine Kelly Lang is getting ready for her evening shower. She starts running the water and as she stands underneath, a shadowy figure comes creeping into the bathroom. It’s STEPHANIE. STEPHANIE FORRESTER played by Susan Flannery rips back the shower curtains, knife raised. The shower music from “Psycho” plays.)
BROOKE LOGAN: AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
(STEPHANIE begins stabbing BROOKE over and over again. BROOKE falls to the floor, dead. STEPHANIE just stalks off.)
STEPHANIE: That’s what you get when you sleep with Ridge when Taylor just found out she’s pregnant.
(CREDITS)
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Post by Scheppers on Aug 24, 2021 8:15:43 GMT
LOL Meat Loaf at Hartley! bye Drazic! OH GOD Stephanie killed Brooke!
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Post by hartleyhighfan92 on Aug 24, 2021 8:18:17 GMT
Hi, Barty - oh, he's a female Trunchbull LOL. WHOA, the ending! Loved Stephanie going psycho on Brooke hahahaha
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Post by terryjuliefan on Aug 27, 2021 15:30:54 GMT
EPISODE NINE
SCENE ONE: THE ROBINSON HOUSEHOLD
(JULIE MARTIN played by Julie Mullins is speaking with the rest of the Robinson family.)
JULIE MARTIN: Don’t you think it’s odd? Scott and Charlene come back from Queensland and decide to renew their vows at Lassiter’s and none of us even get invited?
HELEN DANIELS: Oh Julie, darling, I suspect they wanted to keep it on the down low. Let’s just be happy that they’ve decided to spend some time in Erinsborough.
JULIE: You’re being way too generous, Gran.
HELEN: Julie, the last time you annoyed me like this I had a dirty rotten headache for hours, now would you please?
JULIE: Did you try taking some Aspirin?
HELEN: Julie, you know that is beside the point.
(LUCY comes out in a huff.)
LUCY: Gran, I can’t find my Beatles cassettes. Do you know what happened to them?
HELEN: I sold them on eBay.
LUCY: Why’d you do that???
HELEN: Because you disrespected me!
JULIE: What’s all this?
HELEN: The other night at dinner, she was mouthing off about John Robertson. You know, the man who looks like your father who went to prison.
JULIE: Well, you shouldn’t mouth off at your Gran. If Debbie and Michael tried that with me, I’d send them to bed without any supper.
HELEN: And she would sell their tapes on the side of the road, none of this eBay business.
(LUCY storms off.)
JULIE: I didn’t even realize you had an eBay account?
HELEN: Oh yes. I’m very up with the times, darling.
(PAUL walks in.)
JULIE: Paul, what is the latest with Scott and Charlene?
PAUL: They’re holding the event tonight. Gail is over there now. Everyone’s just left. They’ve decided to remake the wedding with just themselves in the downstairs hall.
JULIE: You really couldn’t put in a word for us? Perhaps you could change their minds, brother dear?
HELEN: Oh Julie. In one ear and out the other with you, so many times!
(JIM walks in.)
JIM: Well, I’m not happy about this at all.
PAUL: Well, there’s not a lot we can do about it apparently.
JULIE: Who’s hungry? I am not using bloody Menu log. Last time the drink exploded all over me.
HELEN: This is where fan fics come in handy, dear. Why, just the other day I got so cross at Shortland Street I wrote this whole scene where I turned New Zealand into a third world country with a nuclear bomb. Can you imagine if I actually did that?
JULIE: That’s a bit morbid, Gran. Where are you getting these ideas from?
JIM: Are we going to organize something?
HELEN: Oh Jim, pull yourself together.
JULIE: You’re one to talk, Gran.
HELEN: Would you like me to sell your trashy romance novels as well?
*
SCENE TWO: LASSITER’S HOTEL
(Later that night, Scott and Charlene are walking down the aisle to Angry Anderson’s “Suddenly”. They go to kiss when suddenly a MASSIVE EXPLOSION goes off. SCOTT and CHARLENE are instantly killed in the blast. An inferno rips through the remains of LASSITER’S HOTEL. EMERGENCY VEHICLES and FIRE ENGINES start pulling up.)
(CREDITS)
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Post by Scheppers on Aug 27, 2021 15:34:22 GMT
OH GOD IT'S HELEN!!!!!!! LOL eBay, Because you disrespected me HAHAHAHAHAHAH 386 Reference! LOL Bye Scott and Charlene!
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Post by hartleyhighfan92 on Aug 27, 2021 17:29:35 GMT
Loved the eBay and Shortland Street references by Helen LOL. Bye, Scott and Charlene
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Post by terryjuliefan on Aug 28, 2021 11:04:35 GMT
EPISODE TEN
SCENE ONE: THE ROBINSON BACKYARD
(JIM ROBINSON played by Alan Dale is furiously doing the gardening when FIONA HARTMAN comes out.)
FIONA HARTMAN: Jim, you look exhausted. Why don’t you take a break?
JIM ROBINSON: I only had one thirty minutes ago. I told you. I don’t want to talk about Scott and Charlene.
FIONA: Well, you have to talk sometime. Oh I’m sorry, Jim. I’ll be waiting back inside the house. Now please take a break.
(FIONA walks back into the house. She goes into the spare room to read TV Week.)
JIM: I think I will take that break.
(JIM goes back into the house. He looks shocking. Suddenly he has a heart attack, leaning against the kitchen wall.)
JIM (CONT’D): Fiona!
FIONA: Jim?!
(JIM collapses, knocking the bowl of oranges everywhere. FIONA comes out, screaming. She tries to resuscitate Jim but it’s useless. He is dead.))
*
SCENE TWO: JULIE MARTIN’S HOUSE
(HELEN is visiting JULIE when suddenly AUNT ROSEMARY DANIELS comes to the door.)
AUNT ROSEMARY: Mummy, Julie. It’s Jim. He’s suffered a massive heart attack. The ambulance is on its way. There are certain formalities which have to be observed.
JULIE: No, that’s not possible.
HELEN: Jim…
JULIE: I refuse to believe it.
(JULIE races out of the house.)
*
SCENE THREE: THE ROBINSON HOUSEHOLD
(JULIE bursts through the front door and runs toward the kitchen.)
JULIE: Dad! Dad! Where are you?
(JULIE beholds JIM in horror. ROSEMARY and HELEN come bounding over.)
ROSEMARY: Julie, it would have been quick.
HELEN: Jim…
(HELEN is stunned. She slowly sits at the kitchen table. FIONA comes waltzing in.)
JULIE: YOU LOUSY MINX!
FIONA: I beg your pardon?! Your father has just died.
JULIE: IT’S YOUR FAULT! DRAGGING HIM AROUND!!! RUNNING AFTER YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC HAIR SALON!!!
FIONA: OH AND LAST NIGHT’S EXPLOSION WITH SCOTT AND CHARLENE DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT, YOU BITTER OLD HOUSEWIFE?!
JULIE: SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!! THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR MONTHS!!! I TOLERATED YOU BECAUSE YOU WERE DAD’S FEMALE, BUT I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE QUICK SMART!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE IN RAMSAY STREET AGAIN!!!!
ROSEMARY: Oh Julie, Fiona, this isn’t the time.
FIONA: I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BULLSHIT, JULIE MARTIN. IF YOU WANT TO START APPORTIONING THE BLAME, LOOK TO YOURSELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE!!!!
JULIE: OH YOU FUCKING SLUT!!!!
(JULIE whacks FIONA across the face. FIONA flies back and hits the sofa in the next room.)
FIONA: HOW DARE YOU STRIKE ME!!!!
ROSEMARY: For goodness sake, your father has just died! Ohhh Mum!!!!
(HELEN passes out.)
*
SCENE THREE: THE LOOKOUT
(JULIE MARTIN has driven down to the coast in a fit of grief. She has been drinking when LUCY comes up onto the roof.)
LUCY: Julie, come on. You’ve got to come down. We need to pull together.
JULIE MARTIN: Oh I make you all so miserable, don’t I? That Hartman witch was right. And it’s my fault too. The damage I have done to people. From the time I ruined Dad’s relationship with Anna, driving Phil up the wall, Michael and Debbie turning against me. Everybody fuming at me for always interfering! It’s clear that I shouldn’t be here. Oh Lucy, I want to disappear.
LUCY: No, no, Julie, don’t say that. No, no, you don’t.
JULIE: You’ll know you’ll all be so much better off without me.
(JULIE leans over the edge and plummets to her death.)
(CREDITS)
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Post by Scheppers on Aug 28, 2021 11:10:22 GMT
BYE JIM!!!!!!! OH SHUT UP JULIE! WHOA! Bye Julie!
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Post by hartleyhighfan92 on Aug 28, 2021 11:11:10 GMT
Bye, Jim. Loved Julie and Fiona's catfight lol. WHOA, the ending!
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